The little things

I have to change my infusion site every three days. I've started inserting them on my kidney area because it's the plumpest part of me that I don't rip out trying to get my pants off to pee. I switch back and forth between sides every three days, but still each area is speckled with little dots of where a site once lived.

It shouldn't be a big deal. It's not like I plan on being a muffin top model. But the little dots bother me.

They bother me the same way it bothered me to have my pump flip out at the pool on Sunday because I was more than two feet from it. It bothers me the way I can't figure out a pattern as to why sometimes my pump will vibrate to warn me my blood sugar is high or sometimes it will beep. Sometimes it will beep twice in rapid succession. It bothers me the way my battery runs out right after my insulin reservoir gets low right after my sensor fails all immediately before a big meeting at work.

This is one of my favorite scenes from the Iron Giant.

Sometimes life tosses us around like the water from the lake. My insulin pump is that old man in the pig truck, driving up to be "helpful" with all its little dots and beeps and buzzes, but all I want to do is yell, "Yeah?!"