Empty hours during an epidemic
When Rich and I were dating way back in 2003, we had a term called "Empty Hours." We lived 100 miles from each other, and while we visited frequently, there was always a deadline for the end of each visit when one of us would have to leave. We had to save conversations for those in person time slots, make sure we did certain things together, and generally always be mindful of what we could fit in. The time together was always a bit frantic because we knew it would end soon, and we didn't want to waste it.
Rich and I did eventually get more Empty Hours as we moved into the same house, got married, worked at the same office, and had a kid together. Once the initial hubbub of his hospice calmed down, we again were able to have some empty hours together, even if he wasn't much of a conversationalist those last couple weeks.
Shrop and I have been discussing parenting and what's imperative to impart to one's child. There is a lot of quality and quantity to consider. The other day, I surmised that perhaps my father was so intense about sharing his principles, in part, because he was not with me very often compared to Mom. Daddy worked two jobs in addition to maintaining rental properties. We didn't have a lot of empty hours together. Shrop nodded and offered that perhaps it's also why he is so intense about wanting to share Very Important Things with Ian when he sees him. Shrop's not in the house all the time like I am. Most heartfelt moments can't be scheduled.
With the forced time together due to COVID-19, we have the opportunity for some Empty Hours. I've seen charts about how to keep kids learning and scheduled over the next several weeks. I saw posts with activities on Saturday and Sunday when it wouldn't even usually be a schoolday or workday. We could use some time to be with each other, without a schedule or a deadline.
Many of us are still working in addition to figuring out how to feed everyone, care for loved ones safely, and keep calm. The hours are not precisely "empty". And now is not the time to make sure we all excel at our jobs and studies. MIT changed all their courses to pass/fail this semester. Let's work on passing. If our schedules are less full, we may have more room to fill up our hearts. The people closest to us are now literally closest to us, and it would be great to enjoy that as much as we can without the worry of a deadline.
