DLand - Gifts in the Closet

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I went over to Jeremy's tonight to sort stuff out in the storage room. What a surreal experience. I found journals of mine from seven years ago (those were frightening). I found papers from college classes I barely remember taking. I found remnants of fabric from outfits I barely remember sewing. I found my old horseback riding helmet. And I found very precious photos of myself that really made me look fat.So I'm sorting through all of these treasures and I stumbled upon my high school prom dress. Now, I had just finished looking at pictures of “fat Genie” (ok, fine, we'll call her “heaviest-I've-ever-been-Genie”) so I was pretty much convinced that this dress should be donated to someone else or burned or something. But I got a wild hair. So I stripped down in the living room and tried it on, the whole time repeating to myself, “Why are you doing this? You know this is never going to fit. You tried this on once before years ago and it was atrocious. People don't keep their 16 year old bodies. Face reality, girlfriend.” (Yes, I call myself girlfriend when I'm talking to myself. Shut up.) Well, lo and behold, the damn thing fit like a glove! It fits better than it did 10 years ago. Sure, my tits have gotten bigger and I have to stuff an insulin pump in there somewhere too, but other than that it fit perfectly. Do you know what this means? I have the ass of a 16 year old! Only now it's a wiser, more advanced and worldy ass because it's on a 25 year old. And it's covered in red satin! It's okay, I'm shocked too. Feel free to hate me and my shapely ass at your leisure. Finding that little gift more than made up for wading through all the sappy journal entries I wrote years and years ago. Those would get burned too except that one needs a little taste of the past every so often to remember what an idiot one can be. Perhaps in several more years I will look back in amazement at what I write about today. But I'll still keep writing. Besides, it will make it easier for the folks in Hollywood to turn my life into a made for TV movie once I'm old.