Facebook Archive - March 2016

March 9 - “Stop whining. Take your pants off. Finish you dinner.”
- what just came out of my mouth to the 6yo

March 10 -We just left the roller rink which was about 90% black skaters. As we drove home, Ian started asking about how things were "back in Martin Luther King's day." 

"Mommy! I wouldn't have been able to take Gia or Feenie skating! Or use the same water fountains just because of our skin."

"You also wouldn't be able to marry Feens like you guys talk about. Anton and Jenna couldn't have gotten married either."

"Ok, now you're talking crazy. And not just normal crazy but super crazy!"

March 15 - Ian and I have started reading the illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (which is a beautiful book and I highly recommend it). It's slow going because he gets sleepy quickly these days in the evening (growth spurt!) despite the time change. 

Me: "Hey, do you want to read any more Harry Potter tonight? I know you're tired."
Ian: "Hmm ... Not tonight, thank you."
Me: "That's cool."
Ian: "I *promise* we'll read more tomorrow night, Mommy. I'm just not up for it tonight."

Cue "Cat's in the Cradle" music ...

March 20 - Ian went to put the dogs out back and returned from the kitchen.

"Mommy. You said the cinnamon buns would be done soon but it says there are THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY minutes left!"

Facebook Archive - February 2016

Feb 1 - Me: "Why is everyone so fussy?"
Ian (arms crossed, yelling): "Gia is being a jerk!"
Me: "You sound a little jerky, yourself."
Gia: "He's the jerk! He pushed me!"
Ian: "Yeah?! Well Gia was the first jerk!"
Me: "That's. No. That's not a thing."

Feb 15 - Jenna was showing Evie how to breastfeed her baby doll and get a good latch. 
Ian: "She's teaching Evie all about nursing so one day she can be annoyed when *her* baby wants to nurse all the time."

Feb 23 - Me to Ian: "Good morning, stink bug. What do you think you want for breakfast?"
Ian: "zzzzzzzz"
Me: "Do you want ... Worms? Or lobster? Or kibble? Or filet of Kitterson?"
Ian: "Wait, go back. I want what was before filet of Kitterson."

No I'm not feeding my six year old dog food. We decided on a spinach and mushroom omelet.

Facebook Archive - January 2016

Jan 1 - Ian: "Daddy, in hockey have you ever gotten a penalty and had to sit in the penalty box?"
Rich: "Well, yes, I've gotten penalties but since I'm the goalie someone else sits in the box for me."
Ian: "What kinds of things got you a penalty?"
Rich: "Usually hitting people."
Ian: "Why did you hit them?"
Rich: "Because they deserved it."
Ian: "Oh, because they were being assholes?"

Jan 1 - The budding reader and rules lawyer aspects of my son have overlapped. 
Ian: "Mommy, how do you spell Christmas?"
Me: "C-h-r .."
Ian: "Woah woah WOAH! Mommy. C-h is a cha sound so that would be Cha-riss-mas. Try again."

Jan 2 - Ian: "Mommy, how do you say my name in Spanish?"
Me: "It's the same. Ian."
Ian (LOUDER and sloooower): 
"No.   Mommy.   In *Spanish*"

Is it time for them to go back to school yet?

Jan 4 - For those of you who say boys are easier, I present my son sobbing inconsolably because he can't decide between a taco or burrito for dinner. Even telling him he could have both did not solve the issue of his indecision. #itsnotaboutthenail #74months #sensitivesoul #notforwusses

Jan 8 - Ian: "Mommy, do you like my nails? Jazzy painted them for me."
Me: "Yeah, they look handsome."
Ian: "Pretty, Mommy. Nail polish is pretty."

Even as he was falling asleep he kept fanning his fingers out afraid they would smudge.

Jan 14 - If my son had a coat of arms, the main charge would be a pair of track pants, inverted, with undies still attached. 
#laundryday #74months

Jan 26 - Ian (age 6): 'I'm mostly into texting versus calling.'
Preach, my little man. Preach.