Facebook Archive - December 2015

Dec 7 - I'm singing Christmas carols to Ian at bedtime. I could remember all the Latin and German lyrics for Psalite but had to cheat and look up the other verses for Silent Night on my phone.

Dec 26 - I'm going to make my fortune designing a Bane like mask for little boys that reduces their volume by half. 
#youareyelling #controlyourvolume #stillyelling #dearlordchild

Dec 31 - Ian: 'Mommy, I'm hungry.'
Me: 'Do you want some turkey? That's what I'm having.'
Ian: 'Maybe ... Let me see it ...'
Me: (shows him gallon ziplock of leftovers from Christmas dinner)
Ian: 'Oh, no, I don't want that. I want Kitterson's turkey!'

And that's why I bought a pound of Hillshire Farm thinly sliced oven roasted turkey at BJ's today. For Ian and Kitterson.

Facebook Archive - November 2015

Nov 1 - We got in the car yesterday and Ian asked for his chocolate pastry. He then burst into song: 'Remember me, for pastries!'
He's so clever sometimes, I can't stand it. #yourewelcomefutureianspouse #falloutboy

Nov 1 - 15 minutes into our play date and Harper and Ian are already debating God. Well, God and poop. #tinytheologists

Nov 2 - Child was whining this morning. A cockroach crawled out of my sink while I was brushing my teeth. That same sink is backed up and I Conan'ed the P trap yesterday so I need to replace it. When I went to remove it so I could get a new one when I return the girls' coats at lunch, there was water in the bottom of it so I poured it down the sink ... Yeah. 
And the dog peed and pooped in Ian's room last night. 

Ian: 'Why did Mollie do that?'
Me: 'Well, she's old and sometimes she can't hold it.'
Ian: 'Granddad is old and he never poops in my room.'

Nov 9 - Ian is feeling worlds better but I'm down for the count. I was in bed eating the cereal Rich got for me. 

Ian: 'Mommy, can you not get out of bed at all?'
Me: 'I can but my body aches a lot.'
Ian: 'So you'd just rather not? Huh. I mean there's not necessarily anything wrong with that ... I'm just sayin' ...'

#hesjustsayin

Nov 9 - Ian, reading the thermometer:
'It says 9-0-0-1.'
'I think you mean 1-0-0-6.'
'Oh. That too.'

On the bright side, we're learning about decimals.

Nov 26 - Our parents have different names to Ian. My folks are Grandma/Mamaw and Pop and Rich's folks are Nana and Granddad. 

When I was breaking Rich out of the hospital a few weeks ago, the school nurse was trying to call us to report Ian had a fever. She went down the list of contacts until she got to my dad (at the end of our street) who said he would come get Ian. 

The nurse told Ian his 'granddaddy' was coming to get him. Ian sighed and said, 'Well, *that'll* be a couple hours ...'

I'm happy to report Granddad and Lee made the two hour drive from Richmond for Thanksgiving today. Ian was so excited last night he couldn't fall asleep, so that at one point I accused Rich of telling Ian that come magical turkey was coming to our house with gifts. But Granddad and Uncle Lee have the same effect.

 

Facebook Archive - October 2015

Oct 4 - I'm going to invent a child-sized hamster ball to stick my kid in so that he can get his yayas out regardless of the weather. If I have to say 'control your body' one more time, I may just wheel him around on a dolly like Hannibal Lecter.

Oct 10 -'Yay! My very first protein bar!'
#kidsareweird

Oct 10 - My five year old is too big for cartoon briefs any more. ﷯ I'm more upset about this than I thought I would be. #hesjustaboy #agiganticboy

Oct 17 - Today the five year old and I have been covering the difference between sentry/century and cereal/serial. English, man. Not for wusses.

Oct 29 - Ian (as I sit down next to him on the sofa): 'What about my grilled cheese I asked for?'
Me: 'It's cooking on the stove.'
Ian: 'Do you really think you should just leave it like that? That doesn't seem safe.'

My son, the fire marshal.