Facebook Archive - November 2015

Nov 1 - We got in the car yesterday and Ian asked for his chocolate pastry. He then burst into song: 'Remember me, for pastries!'
He's so clever sometimes, I can't stand it. #yourewelcomefutureianspouse #falloutboy

Nov 1 - 15 minutes into our play date and Harper and Ian are already debating God. Well, God and poop. #tinytheologists

Nov 2 - Child was whining this morning. A cockroach crawled out of my sink while I was brushing my teeth. That same sink is backed up and I Conan'ed the P trap yesterday so I need to replace it. When I went to remove it so I could get a new one when I return the girls' coats at lunch, there was water in the bottom of it so I poured it down the sink ... Yeah. 
And the dog peed and pooped in Ian's room last night. 

Ian: 'Why did Mollie do that?'
Me: 'Well, she's old and sometimes she can't hold it.'
Ian: 'Granddad is old and he never poops in my room.'

Nov 9 - Ian is feeling worlds better but I'm down for the count. I was in bed eating the cereal Rich got for me. 

Ian: 'Mommy, can you not get out of bed at all?'
Me: 'I can but my body aches a lot.'
Ian: 'So you'd just rather not? Huh. I mean there's not necessarily anything wrong with that ... I'm just sayin' ...'

#hesjustsayin

Nov 9 - Ian, reading the thermometer:
'It says 9-0-0-1.'
'I think you mean 1-0-0-6.'
'Oh. That too.'

On the bright side, we're learning about decimals.

Nov 26 - Our parents have different names to Ian. My folks are Grandma/Mamaw and Pop and Rich's folks are Nana and Granddad. 

When I was breaking Rich out of the hospital a few weeks ago, the school nurse was trying to call us to report Ian had a fever. She went down the list of contacts until she got to my dad (at the end of our street) who said he would come get Ian. 

The nurse told Ian his 'granddaddy' was coming to get him. Ian sighed and said, 'Well, *that'll* be a couple hours ...'

I'm happy to report Granddad and Lee made the two hour drive from Richmond for Thanksgiving today. Ian was so excited last night he couldn't fall asleep, so that at one point I accused Rich of telling Ian that come magical turkey was coming to our house with gifts. But Granddad and Uncle Lee have the same effect.

Facebook Archive - October 2015

Oct 4 - I'm going to invent a child-sized hamster ball to stick my kid in so that he can get his yayas out regardless of the weather. If I have to say 'control your body' one more time, I may just wheel him around on a dolly like Hannibal Lecter.

Oct 10 -'Yay! My very first protein bar!'
#kidsareweird

Oct 10 - My five year old is too big for cartoon briefs any more. ﷯ I'm more upset about this than I thought I would be. #hesjustaboy #agiganticboy

Oct 17 - Today the five year old and I have been covering the difference between sentry/century and cereal/serial. English, man. Not for wusses.

Oct 29 - Ian (as I sit down next to him on the sofa): 'What about my grilled cheese I asked for?'
Me: 'It's cooking on the stove.'
Ian: 'Do you really think you should just leave it like that? That doesn't seem safe.'

My son, the fire marshal.

Facebook Archive - September 2015

Sept 10 - Ian's lunch: water, half a turkey samdwich, three meatballs, cheezits, strawberries, a Hershey kiss. It's a challenge to get him enough food he can eat in 30 min. #goodbyn #kleankanteen #whatkidseat

Sept 10 - Day two of school and Ian declared last night that his teachers were 'mean'. I asked why that was. 

They made him throw away the last of his cheezits at the end of lunch yesterday. He said the lunch room teacher told him, 'Lunch is over. Time to throw away your food.' 

'But I wasn't done with my cheezits and I was still hungry. They made me throw them away.'

I told him he could have probably just put the lid on his lunch box and eaten them at Jenna's but he said, 'No, Mommy, I have to do what the teacher tells me to or I'll get in trouble. But it's a stupid rule. We only get 30 minutes to eat lunch and I really need like 40 minutes which is ..... 9 MORE MINUTES ... wait, 10 more minutes.'

I told him I would do everything I could to package foods he could eat quickly and help him out.

He's learning a lot of life lessons already at school. And a side of math.

Sept 20 - Sunday, 6:30am, in a tent in our back yard
Ian: 'Mom?'
Me: 'Yeah?'
Ian: 'Did we do it?'
Me: '?'
Ian: 'Did we camp outside?'
Me: 'Yep.'
Ian: 'Yay! ... Camping is cold!'