Setting priorities

I was bitching to my therapist Gary about how I had several things that needed to get done and they just hadn't. He asked, "Well, why don't you just do them?" The question caught me off guard. See, I'm supposed to sit on this couch and bitch about how I feel overwhelmed and have a giant pile of stuff to do and he's supposed to nod knowingly, perhaps thoughtfully tapping his ball point pen against his chin. Not this "well why don't you" bullshit.

"I just haven't. What do you mean, why not? I didn't get my prescription refilled."

"But you knew you needed to. And you knew if you didn't take them, you might feel bad."

"Yeah ... and?"

Sigh, we weren't really getting anywhere. Fine. I got my damn prescription refilled but I had to drop it off then come back and I couldn't refill it using the automated system since it was a fresh script and I had to wait for 45 minutes in the pharmacy because they were running behind and the baby was super tired and GAH! This is why I don't get shit done! As Heather's mom would say, "It's such a struggle!"

We need to close our pool. We need to cut up the tomato cages that broke last year so they'll fit in the trash can and get off the lawn. We need to mow the lawn one last time this season. We need to install the microwave over the stove (that one has been on the to do list for two years now). We need to bag up and get rid of all the baby clothes that no longer fit Ian. We need to hook back up the microphones in the office so we can podcast again. We need to find the small leak in the downstairs bathroom behind the wall.

There are many more items on the list. And frankly, they're just not getting done. I'm managing to bath semi-regularly, dress myself and the boy, pack the appropriate activity for that day, get us to school/work, get various stuff done, pick up boy, nurse boy, get home, make dinner, clean up from dinner, nurse boy, put boy to bed, collapse in front of TV and/or computer.

I mailed away our passports yesterday and it was a Huge Accomplishment. I wish it didn't feel that way, but it was. I read an article about how the "have everything" mom (or dad) is a myth. That you can't have kids, a job and do all you need to do. So perhaps I've just decided to do my job, make Cookie Monster shirts and nurse my boy to sleep and then let all the other stuff go to hell.

In an effort to avoid everything going to hell, I did make a point this evening of sorting all of Ian's old clothes I had stuffed into boxes. I probably need to do a second sweep to really cut down on what we save, but the majority is bagged up. I suppose we'll take them all to the thrift store this weekend (note to self: don't lose the receipt!).

I don't really feel great about this accomplishment, just tired. It's hard to decide what to mess with and when. Ten years from now will we care what color the pool water was or how many onesies we saved? It would be nice to not have to microwave food in the dining room, though.

Save the date(s)

I mailed away a long paper trail of all my names today in the hopes of renewing my passport. My original passport was from my teenage years (oof, my feathered hair!) so I could take a choir trip to England. My second passport was shortly after my first marriage so we could honeymoon with my father-in-law and his partner in Dublin and Munich (oof, my crazy short hair, double chin and glasses!). The passport outlasted the marriage, but still expired last year. Since you need a passport for Canada these days and I may want to see Europe again sometime soon, Rich and I decided to renew our passports. While he only had to fill out a form and surrender his expired passport, I had to prove all the versions of me there were. I thought about only including my most recent marriage license, but knew I would be livid if the papers came back for further documentation so decided to out-paperwork them. I sent my birth certificate, my first marriage license, my divorce court order and my second marriage license.

Did you know you don't get a divorce license? If I ran the country I would make one. The only thing I have saying I got a divorce is the actual court order from our lawyer, signed by a judge, that says who gets what from the marriage and if we had kids and all the reasons for our divorce. And really, I don't feel that's the cable company's business if they want proof of my name change. But for the federal government, I figured they could know all that for the sake of getting my name corrected.

That's one of the few places left with my old married name on it. Looking at the lady in that photo it seems like another lifetime ago. Realistically, it was 20 pounds and some truly regrettable glasses ago. Dates are funny. Jeremy and I got married in July so he could have insurance when we went to Pennsic in August (not a good reason to get married, trust me). We then had our wedding celebration on August 29, 1998. Rich and his wife went to that wedding, even though it was his birthday. He's always been happy to share, even when it was his birthday with my wedding day to another man.

When I was flipping through our passports before sending them off, I noticed Rich had a stamp from October 22, 1999. He and Gabrielle went to Ireland and Wales that fall to meet some of his cousins and be tourists. Ten years after that he was in a hospital with me holding his newborn son. Life is funny.

I guess every day is an anniversary of something, maybe something that hasn't even happened yet.

Return to sender

I have a problem with mail. I love getting personal letters or packages, as I think most people do, but everything else I hate! I hate looking for a letter opener to open it. I hate shredding the envelope when I give up finding the letter opener. I hate deciding if I'm going to scan the document or stick it in the mountain of "to be scanned" documents or just face reality and trash it. I hate deciphering if it's trash or real since they all say "dated material - open immediately!!!11!". I am only marginally amused by the blatant misspellings of my name (Jamie Stikler? You're not even trying ...). I heard about this service called Earth Class Mail and wondered if it would do us any good. Maybe if someone else vetted all our mail for us that would help. They scan it, show you the contents if you want, recycle it for you, deposit the checks for you. All this sounds great! But I wondered how much worthwhile mail I actually got versus junk. If I could just keep on top of it, maybe we wouldn't need a personal assistant at our house to handle the piles of mail.

So I counted mail for the entire month of October. Well, let's be honest. I took all the mail we got in October and dumped it in one big cardboard box and ignored it until Sunday. I did mention I hated going through the mail, right?

So this is what we ended up with:

That's all our mail. And here's how it sorted out:

82% of it went straight to the recycling bin. I opened the three cards immediately but later recycled them. And the bills and statements ... well, they're still in that giant pile "to be scanned".

So I'm still not very happy with our mail situation but it's not as dire as I first thought. If I can just get the scanner prepped and our sofa table of sorting under control, we can hopefully stay on top of this. I still may interview for some personal assistants, perhaps paying them in Ruby Tuesday and Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.