DLand - Nap = Good

Good I woke up earlier tonight from my two hour nap ready to face the world again. These past two days have really drained me physically. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the constant battle against low blood sugar in the face of manual labor. Maybe it's the fact I've seen and moved every scrap of my personal belongings at least three times. All I know is I feel approximately 8 gazillion times better now than I did at 7 this evening. Nap = good.So after the wonderful nap of goodness, I ventured back out into the world and K-Mart. Now, normally I hate this store, but I needed bread and motor oil and only had the energy for one store, so my choices were limited. I think someone out there was looking out for me. I had the most cosmically fantastic K-Mart experience. There were approximately six people in the entire store. And all six of those customers were pleasant and quiet and able to navigate aisles with a buggy of groceries. They had a cooler with ice cold Mountain Dew waiting for me by the front door (again with the low blood sugar) and pleasant tunes on the speaker system. I waited approximately 15 seconds in line to checkout and my checker girl was intelligent and nice (not bagging my bread and motor oil in the same bag was the first clue of her brightness). So K-Mart redeemed itself just a little to me today. In other news, I have this amazingly technicolor bruise sequence down my right thigh. It's really quite impressive. Gosh, Genie, how the heck did you do that? Well, my dear reader, washing machines are very very heavy. And if you and your father are trying to lift one of these washers up stairs with a dolly that doesn't have stair skids on it, this is what we in the washer moving business like to call an “Accident Waiting to Happen” or a “Fucking Fiasco.” So Daddy kind of dropped a washer on me. It was fun. Really. Sort of a warm-up for the sleeper sofas of doom. So all in all it was a pretty good day off. Not quite a vacation, but good things happened here and there.

DLand - Gifts in the Closet

I went over to Jeremy's tonight to sort stuff out in the storage room. What a surreal experience. I found journals of mine from seven years ago (those were frightening). I found papers from college classes I barely remember taking. I found remnants of fabric from outfits I barely remember sewing. I found my old horseback riding helmet. And I found very precious photos of myself that really made me look fat.So I'm sorting through all of these treasures and I stumbled upon my high school prom dress. Now, I had just finished looking at pictures of “fat Genie” (ok, fine, we'll call her “heaviest-I've-ever-been-Genie”) so I was pretty much convinced that this dress should be donated to someone else or burned or something. But I got a wild hair. So I stripped down in the living room and tried it on, the whole time repeating to myself, “Why are you doing this? You know this is never going to fit. You tried this on once before years ago and it was atrocious. People don't keep their 16 year old bodies. Face reality, girlfriend.” (Yes, I call myself girlfriend when I'm talking to myself. Shut up.) Well, lo and behold, the damn thing fit like a glove! It fits better than it did 10 years ago. Sure, my tits have gotten bigger and I have to stuff an insulin pump in there somewhere too, but other than that it fit perfectly. Do you know what this means? I have the ass of a 16 year old! Only now it's a wiser, more advanced and worldy ass because it's on a 25 year old. And it's covered in red satin! It's okay, I'm shocked too. Feel free to hate me and my shapely ass at your leisure. Finding that little gift more than made up for wading through all the sappy journal entries I wrote years and years ago. Those would get burned too except that one needs a little taste of the past every so often to remember what an idiot one can be. Perhaps in several more years I will look back in amazement at what I write about today. But I'll still keep writing. Besides, it will make it easier for the folks in Hollywood to turn my life into a made for TV movie once I'm old.

DLand - Quotable Gunther

There were several good quotes from today - more than I could reasonably note. So I'll just quote one.Me: “Sir Gunther, um, you're wearing a black sweatshirt. It's hot as hell out here!” Gunther: (sheepishly) “Yeah, I know. I forgot a t-shirt. And this is cooler than what I had on before.” Me: “You're making me hot just looking at you.” Gunther: “Why, thank you!” Me: stammering as others laugh Gunther: “You better keep your distance, ma'am. I've fathered four children. I'm a dangerously potent man to be around.” Me: “You win, Gunther. You pulled my punk card.”