I ran four miles

Technically today I ran the most mileage I have ever run in one workout. But it was full of complications. I could not easily do my run until Rich got home from his brocation at Blackstone Raids. But he got home around 5pm and no one had eaten recently so we decided to get dinner first.

For some reason, my blood sugar was high before dinner (I think I did bad math at my last snack) so I had to correct for that and bolus for my thin crust pizza. I wasn't too worried about it being high because I was about to come home and run so it would all be fixed.

I tore the house apart looking for my iPhone holder, peed twice before leaving and set off with the dogs for the first mile. The plan was to loop back to drop them off and keep going. But after only half a block, it was evident my drop off was going to be more lengthy. My long sleeve shirt was too warm but more importantly, I had to change my pants. No amount of kegels in the world was stopping me.

I stomped into the house, went upstairs to find new undies, a new shirt, and new running pants. Oh and a panty liner to finish my damn run. I decided to check my blood before heading back out and it had plummeted from 255 down to 172 and my sensor had two down arrows meaning it was dropping fast still. I turned off the pump and drank a juice box (22g of carbs), figuring that should hold me.

I set back out and ran for all three remaining miles straight. That means that I ran for four miles today with no walking breaks. I have never done that before in my life. I also improved my pace a bit so that I ran an 11.18 mile (so running at 5.37 mph). But I also soaked through that panty liner.

I finished the last mile directly in front of my house but wanted to cool down a bit so decided to walk around the block. About halfway around, though, I regretted it. I looked at my pump and it said 88 with two down arrows. Whoops. And I was getting cold, which is another sure sign I was going low.

I got home and checked my blood to find it was 55. I stared blankly into the fridge. Nothing looked good. I decided on a Fage Greek yogurt because they are the best Greek yogurts ever made on the planet. I inhaled it in record time (can you PR in yogurt eating?) and then did my best yoga corpse pose under a blanket in the living room floor, waiting for the chills to stop.

The good news is my knees don't hurt and I didn't get a stitch in my side. I just went through two shirts, two pairs of undies, two pants, a juice box and a yogurt to manage four miles. If this persists to 13 miles, I will need to drag a rolling suitcase behind me.

This is why I gave myself plenty of time to train for October. I sense more math is coming.

The first step

On April 16, 2013, I weighed 198 pounds at my endocrinologist appointment. I don't remember necessarily crying about it, but I do remember being pretty depressed the rest of the day. It had been five months since Rich's surgery and while he was trying to put back on weight, I apparently was playing along for moral support. I was the heaviest I had been in my adult life and I decided to do something about it. I started using MyFitnessPal on my phone to track food. I used a BodyMedia armband to track all my exercise. It was incredibly slow going. Today I weigh approximately 176 pounds. Given the adjustment for clothing, I have lost exactly 20 pounds in one year. Fascinatingly, I am still basically in the same clothes but they fit differently (not necessarily better). I've gone down one jeans size, depending on the brand, and one cup size. Apparently boobs are heavy.

Over the last few months I've stopped tracking food. I've been coasting for a bit (thank you, F U February) and relaxing. I don't weigh myself that often and I don't put a ton of value in the number I read.

My goals have shifted. I have been going to the gym and lifting weights. Who would have thought that counting to 10, resting 30 seconds and then counting to 10 again could be so fun? I'm learning the difference in an incline press (which is my nemesis) and a reverse fly (which should be called the "how to hold a rapier for 15 minutes straight machine"). I'm having fun. But it hasn't been quite the challenge I wanted.

We walked 8K in March and I was pleased that it didn't wear me out at all. I can barely run a 5K, but I am miserably slow. Running is harder for me because of the cardio. I get scared that I'm going to go low. All the symptoms for low blood sugar are too similar to the same symptoms of just exercising in general (shortness of breath, sweating, rapid heart rate, feeling woozy). I tried running at the gym a few weeks ago but I had to stop because my blood sugar was 40. It's frustrating on so many levels because my muscles could have kept going and my heart could have kept going but my everything else was falling apart.

I want to figure out how to run. I understand the mechanics. I have a training schedule. More specifically, I want to figure out how to run with diabetes, and that is a bit more complicated. Peer pressure and whimsy made me sign up for the Crawlin' Crab 5K in October. Several of my friends are running in it and I can easily cover that much ground.

But today I signed up for the Crawlin' Crab Half Marathon. I'm actually signed up for both, so technically I'm taking the "Shell Yeah Challenge" over two days. As I told my parents the other night, I signed up for a three hour math problem. The running is not concerning me nearly as much as the blood sugar management. Even the training part is intimidating.

I'd rather not run on the treadmill because wow boring. But there's something to be said for being 20 feet from a fridge full of juice if I go low versus miles from home. I think my plan is to map out my run, let Rich track me via Find My Friends (AKA stalk my spouse), and be able to call home if I get stuck. I wish I could just throw on shoes and a high impact sports bra and hit the road, but my life takes a bit more preparation.

For those curious or interested in following along, I'm using the Hal Higdon Novice 1 Training Program. Since I have 25 weeks until the race, I'm doubling up each week to give me time to adjust and not freak out. I'm using MapMyRun on my phone to pick out routes and track my progress.

Yesterday was my first day and I worked on stretching. I chose the Injury Prevention session on DoYogaWithMe.com and it was perfect. Today is my first three mile run and I am a little nervous. I am even more nervous about my four mile run on Sunday, as that will be the furthest I have ever run in my life. I also will be doing it in Richmond for Easter which is not nearly as flat as Ocean View.

I'm worried that I will suck at this. I'm worried that it will be too hard. Not the running, mind you. The math. How many raisins do I need to eat and how often on each run to keep my blood sugar stable? What should my sugar be when I start and when I stop?

This may be the only thing in my life so far that I've felt like diabetes made harder. Pregnancy was annoying but not that bad. Traveling, working, and every day issues don't bother me. But this is the first time I've paused before trying something. Which is why I'm writing today. If I write it down it has to happen. I am equal parts nervous and excited. Wish me luck!

The little things

I have to change my infusion site every three days. I've started inserting them on my kidney area because it's the plumpest part of me that I don't rip out trying to get my pants off to pee. I switch back and forth between sides every three days, but still each area is speckled with little dots of where a site once lived.

It shouldn't be a big deal. It's not like I plan on being a muffin top model. But the little dots bother me.

They bother me the same way it bothered me to have my pump flip out at the pool on Sunday because I was more than two feet from it. It bothers me the way I can't figure out a pattern as to why sometimes my pump will vibrate to warn me my blood sugar is high or sometimes it will beep. Sometimes it will beep twice in rapid succession. It bothers me the way my battery runs out right after my insulin reservoir gets low right after my sensor fails all immediately before a big meeting at work.

This is one of my favorite scenes from the Iron Giant.

Sometimes life tosses us around like the water from the lake. My insulin pump is that old man in the pig truck, driving up to be "helpful" with all its little dots and beeps and buzzes, but all I want to do is yell, "Yeah?!"