Facebook Archive - September 2014

Sept 2 - Ian said he wanted to go home this morning as we drove to preschool. Rich asked him if he was worried about school and he said yeah. When Rich asked what he was worried about Ian just said, '... stuff ...' 

But he then said he was worried about homework. We reminded him he doesn't have any homework yet! He also was worried because he can't read. We reminded him he's not supposed to be able to yet. He then wanted Rich to quiz him on numbers until we got to the school so we would feel ready. 

Thankfully, once he saw his familiar space and teachers he just waved and took off. He will do great, despite being illiterate.

Sept 7 - Ian (from the bathroom across the house): 'Mommy?'
Me: 'Yes?'
Ian: 'If I get poop on my hands, will you come help me?'
Me: 'Always.'

A few minutes later ...

Ian: 'Mommy! I need you!'
Me (at the doorway of bathroom now): 'What's the matter?'
Ian: 'I will try wiping myself, but can you come in here because it's kind of lonely.'

This status update written from the edge of the tub.

Sept 7 - Tonight's bedtime 'story out of my mouth' was about Penny the pig who was a trapeze artist in the circus and became jealous of the new pig Luthor who could ride a stunt motorcycle. Who needs books when we make up stuff like that?

Sept 8 - Ian was super concerned about the elevator in the parking garage but when we got to the revolving door he exclaimed, 'OH MY GOSH, MOMMY, THIS DOOR IS AWESOME!'
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Sept 12 - Ian: 'Ok, Mommy, I'm not talking about if I accidentally drop it, but what if a preying mantis jumped on my iPad and used his super sharp claw arms and snapped it in half, *then* would you get me a new iPad?'
I guess we should be saving for law school.

Sept 30 - 'See my squirrel? And if you hook your finger under his tail, he's a squirrel gun!'

Facebook Archive - August 2014

Aug 3 - Why yes, I took our son to the beach at 7:30pm so he could dig holes. It was that or a dart gun at bed time. Gotta work those 'yayas' out.

Aug 4 - I would post a photo of my trip to the beach with a 4 year old and 19 month old but I was too scared to use the phone after getting it wet retrieving the baby from under water. 

Amazingly, the phone still works and no one drowned. I call it a success. 

Ian kept asking if we could play super heroes like yesterday but I told him I was  busy keeping his cousin alive. Baby Harrison was intent on chasing down any bubbles he created or could find in the water, much like that one fish in the dentist office in Finding Nemo. I think his voice may be hoarse tomorrow from screaming 'BUBBLES!' for an hour.

Aug 10 - Me: 'Ok, stink, we just need to get milk so this should be fast.'
Ian: 'Can't I just stay in the car and play Temple Run while you go inside?'
Me: 'As much as we would both love that, someone will complain and we'll get in trouble.'
Ian: 'They'll see you inside and say, 'Hey she looks like a mom but where's her kid?' and then you'll get in trouble?'
Me: 'Yes, something like that.'

Aug 10 - Ian has three weeks of camp at the Jewish Community Center before going back to preschool at Kempsville Presbyterian Church. Back to wearing shoes all day, packing peanut-free kosher lunches, and sticker sheets for his performance. 
I don't know about him, but I miss Free Range Kids already.

Aug 11 - On our way to skating lessons, Ian asks: 'So, what are your thoughts about dinner?'
Me: 'I don't know. What are *your* thoughts about dinner?'
Ian: 'I was thinking ... We could get sushi after dinner. That could be tasty.'
Hard to deny that.

Aug 11 - One downside of JCC's camp is there is no nap time. That means after 8+ hours of non-stop activities, including swimming, Ian was falling asleep on his feet at 5pm. That also means he's now going to sleep before dark. 

It sucks because we hardly get to see him while he's awake. Then again, after the day we've all had I may just go to bed with him.

Aug 12 - Ian: 'Now that baby that was with my friend Ryan won't ever smile again.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Ian: 'Because you made me leave the pool and I'm not there with my goggles on and that baby loves me and my goggles!'

Someone might be interested in a follow up play date with Dustin Stokes and Kira Stokes.

Aug 16 - We set our first butterfly free. Ian named her Olivia.

Aug 16 - Rich helped Ian make a character on World of Warcraft. He can't read but that doesn't slow him down. He just sends messages to other players that say, 'thgjfkthfjdjtjffhf.'

Aug 19 - Ian from the back seat: 'Mommy, I'm not tired. I'm just resting my eyes. Just so you know.'

Aug 21 - Talked with Ian tonight about how not everyone is super smart, not even adults. I told him that it can be frustrating as a super smart kid to deal with not very smart adults but it's good practice. 

We also talked about how being frustrated at a situation is different than being frustrated at a person. And I  agreed that no one should have to lie in the dark alone unless they want to. 

Being four is tough. Also, you're welcome future Ian spouse.

Aug 24 - Ian (at volume 11 from the bathroom stall next to me): 'Some kids, they have outside wieners but I have an inside wiener and I told the other kids that my mom and dad left my wiener alone but they just keep asking why and I've told them 100 times but they just keep asking. And one kid said that some grown ups play with their wieners but another kid said NO THEY DON'T!'

Aug 24 - Ian was able to christen his new play house with Nicholas and the girls today. Hooray Craigslist and super hooray to George Powell and Perry Powell for going above and beyond to transport and re-assemble it!

Aug 25 - Ian kept asking if his butt was red and lamenting he couldn't see it. So I took an iPhone pic of his butt to show him. As soon as he examined it to his satisfaction he said, 'Mommy, don't take your phone to work tomorrow because I don't want you showing the whole world my butt.'

For the record, I deleted the picture.

Facebook Archive - July 2014

July 6 - We've reached the point where singing Bird on the Wire causes a lot of questions. 
'What does fashioned mean?'
'What does it mean to be free? Can't the bird just fly away? I guess there could be chewing gum under his foot and he's stuck.'

Still dodged the 'baby stillborn' lyric for now.

July 8 - We're having post swimming sushi again.

Ian: 'How do you say miso soup in English?'
Me: 'Well, I'm not sure what miso means ...'
Ian: 'Maybe it means fantabulous.'

July 8 - Bad: Ian refused to go to his swim lesson out of fear. Good: Ian spent and hour and a half at the pool doing all the things he wound have done in his lesson but with me and on his own terms, including diving underwater for rings. 

July 10 - Me, singing Bird on the Wire: '... like a knight from some old fashioned book ...'
Ian: 'Why would anybody to read old books? Wouldn't it just be broken and falling apart? ... And what's a drunkina?'

July 14 - My child got melatonin at 8pm and we went to lie in the dark at 8:30pm. It is now 10pm and he's asking me how Terro ant traps work. I told him they're clear liquid and it seems like food for them but is poison and then he asked how that's different from Daddy's clear bags that say LR on them (lactated ringer IV fluids). 

I am equal parts impressed and exhausted. 

Now he just asked me if for Christmas we can make Christmas cookies. 

Someone make an OFF switch for my kid's brain!

July 15 - 11:29pm marks the first snore of our son actually being asleep, for those playing along at home. He's a machine. A hypothetical question positing into the darkness machine.

July 16 - Home by 9:30pm, in bed at 10pm. One story out of my mouth ('Hank the dog who was great at hide and seek'). One song ('Trouble'). Rolled around a bit with his eyes closed. Sound asleep by 10:25pm. 
This I can work with.

July 17 - 7-7:30 bath (because wow he was like Pig Pen only with sticky food too), which he exited, drained, toweled off and dressed in his clothes for tomorrow all on his own. 

7:30-8 co-chilling in the futon bed we've moved downstairs, alternating between Hooked on Phonics app and flight simulator on the iPad. 

8-8:30 12.5mg of GAMA and 2.5mg melatonin then watching ninja turtles while I checked Daddy's drains and filled the fridge with TPN and IV ringer deliveries. 

8:30-9 two stories (one about Gerald the Goldfish and the other about Max the Red Super Shark) and two songs ('Trouble' and 'Strike the Bell' which is no longer in the lullaby repertoire because the word poop deck causes fits of giggles). 

I thought he was almost asleep and then he said he was hungry. So 9-9:08 was cereal in bed, which he inhaled. 

9:08-9:12 lying in the dark together. 9:12-9:18 as requested, I rubbed his back until he fell asleep. I'll lie here with him to help him stay chill and so I can sniff his head lovingly while he snores. 

That's our bed time routine.

July 30 - After a lot of furniture moving, the entire Stryker clan is back in one (giant) bed. A queen bed with a twin bed butted up to it as a 'sidecar' is pretty much wall to wall mattress, but we're luxuriating in it. The kitties are at least.

July 31 - I was just inhaling a popsicle in the kitchen when Ian walked in to see what I was doing. When I confessed I was eating a treat, he was all, 'Why don't you come and sit with me while you eat it. I don't care if you spill it on me because I can just change pants.'

He's going to make an awesome husband one day