Facebook Archive - February 2014

Feb 1, 2014 - 4am "I'm hungry" leads to 4:15 hotdog which leads to 4:30 coughing fit which leads to 4:45 vomited hot dog which leads to 5am movie in the chair with Daddy while I strip the bed and fold up the bathroom rug. Parenthood is not for wusses. Feb 3, 2014 - Peeling my kid off of me this morning as he desperately says, "Don't leave me, Mommy!" is just what I didn't need after five days trapped at home in the snow. And it's gross outside so they won't go on the playground. I went to work and hugged my sunlight UV lamp and counted the days until spring.

Feb 4, 2014 - Ian wouldn't wave to me at the window this morning at drop off. He just stood there staring at me like he was going to the gallows. We talk about the scars of a birth that doesn't go as planned but there are lots of other little wounds throughout their lives. My oldest brother is 54 and my mother still gets misty-eyed talking about how he cried every day at drop off for two years. Not for wusses.

Feb 4, 2014 - I made a wrong turn and told Ian I was on auto pilot. As I tried to explain the phrase, he started sobbing, "BUT IF A ROBOT'S DRIVING THE CAR I WON'T GET TO SEE YOU!" #notforwusses

Feb 7, 2014 - We overslept but Ian didn't flip out. He told me when his feelings were getting hurt and he felt rushed. We sorted it out without a single tear. The car ride involved Ian marveling at the cotton ball clouds and one that looked like a sea monster. He asked for one more hug and said he would miss me but didn't cling to my leg. And he waved at the window! You're welcome, future Ian spouse.

Feb 12, 2014 - Ian: "We talk about Jesus and God but I keep looking for them and can't see them." Me: "Well, they're not really people or things you see." Ian: "Because they have magic?" Me: "Kinda ... Dude, it's complicated." Ian: "Did you know Jesus and God are in your heart? Maybe that's why I can't see them." Not for wusses.

Feb 14, 2014 - We went up the mountain and Ian says his voice sounds funny now. I told him it's because his ears are stopped up. "But I can't feel any boogers in my ears."

Feb 17, 2014 - Ian: "Does Travis have a kid?" Us: "No." Ian: "And he *still* has to go to work?!"

Feb 22, 2014 - As we left the funeral service this afternoon Ian yelled across the parking lot, "Can we *please* go to Target now?" I turned to Rich's dad and said, "the world moves on, Granddad." We've promised him a trip in the morning, as a family.

Feb 27, 2014 - Leaving Toys-R-Us after a pre-arranged 15 minute time limit of "just looking" but not getting any toys went about as well as you'd expect, but I had to give him a chance. We're now sitting in the grocery store parking lot waiting for him to stop sobbing because I "hurt his feelings" by "fussing" at him, which basically involved me calmly carrying him to the car and telling him we were going home. I will not yell. I will not lose my cool. I will crawl in the backseat and snuggle him. But I'm not apologizing to him for kindly telling him he's wrong just because that upsets him and he wants to blame me. So we just wait. #notforwusses

Facebook Archive - January 2014

Jan 11, 2014 - We're trying to convince Ian that the CD eject button is there to launch sassy children out of the minivan through the roof. "And we didn't get the model with a sun roof so you'd better cover your head." Jan 15 , 2014 - [in the car listening to music] Ian: "Daddy, are there any good doctors?" [many back and forth questions] Rich: "Oh! No, I think all the doctors on my phone for music are evil or horrible."

Jan 16, 2014 - I'm heading out to the pharmacy at 4am for more children's Advil and a feverish Ian calls out to me, "Bye, Mommy. I love you! Have a good time!" They're so sweet when they're sick.

Jan 18, 2014 - Ian at 7am: "Mommy, what are chemicals?" This should be a brain teaser book of word play. Yesterday he asked what motivation is.

Jan 22, 2014 - We just bought a "fart blaster" gun at Target. Ian then held the trigger down the entire time from the toy aisle, through groceries and check out, in the parking lot until we got to the van. I also wet my pants from laughing so hard but it's like that "ever gonna see a rainbow, stand a little rain" analogy.

Facebook Archive - December 2013

Dec 8, 2013 - We're playing "school" again and Teacher Ian just told me I am the best singer in chapel. Feeling pretty proud. Dec 9, 2013 - Every night, Ian comes to our bed somewhere between 1 and 5am to finish out his sleeping. Yes, it's crowded but those moments are precious to me. I remember being nine years old or so and sleeping with my mom until my dad would come to bed very late at night. He would carefully carry me to my bed and no one talked about when I was going to stay in my own room from dusk to dawn. It was just a phase and an acceptable one at that. I'm grateful my parents were so welcoming with their sleep space and it's something I hope Ian will enjoy as much as he needs.

Dec 11, 2013 - This morning in the car Ian wanted to play Wizard of Oz, meaning I was Dorothy and he was Toto. When we got to school he said coyly, "you know sometimes Dorothy would carry Toto ..." My kid weighs a lot more than that little terrier.

Dec 11, 2013 - "Toto" keeps asking if he can watch the Lizard of Oz again.

Dec 14, 2013 - The lady at the tree lot asked Ian what he wanted Santa to bring him and he said, "Santa can bring me whatever he wants." She noted that it was a pretty mature attitude to have regardless of age.

Dec 14, 2013 - Watching the Music Man with Ian. Love this. He just asked why there are only boys on the train of traveling salesmen.

Dec 18, 2013 - "Sing to me, Mommy. Sing me a lullaby and I won't whine about going to bed." Hard to argue with that. He also specifically requested "Daddy Sang Bass"

Dec 19, 2013 - "Hey, Mommy, remember when Dorothy was looking for Eddie M?" "Auntie" "No. Eddie M. She yells 'Eddie M! Eddie M!'"

Dec 21, 2013 - Woke up this morning when Ian rolled over and headbutted me in the nose so hard I saw stars. Co-sleeping is not for wimps.

Dec 22, 2013 - Ian keeps saying we're going to see the Nut-Kraken this afternoon and I don't really want to correct him.

Dec 22, 2013 - "Remember, Ian, when we go to the theatre there will be a lot of other people there so you can't talk a lot or you'll disturb them." "But, Mommy, I want to talk because I have a lot of words in me!"

Dec 24, 2013 - We are listening to Baby Got Back (as one does on Christmas Eve) and Ian thought the vinyl scratching sound was squirrels. Also, the word butt in any song = comedy gold.

Dec 26, 2013 - Ian rolls over in bed: "Hey, Mommy! Fart and dart rhyme!" And with that first declaration of the day I'm off to make pancakes.