Facebook Archive - February 2015

Feb 8 - I was going to offer up a five-year-old free to a good home to the first person to meet me at Mt. Trashmore Park, but I'm already calming down. He only has one shoe anyways, so that would have limited potential buyers. #loveispatient #notforwusses

Feb 11 - Ian begged to use the men's locker room by himself. After waiting forever for him I discovered he'd been in there with the old men watching TV and 'waiting for his hair to dry.'

Feb 12 - As soon as the alarm went off, Ian started dramatically complaining that he hurt. 

'My waist hurts! I think I broke a bone!'
'That's your hip. And I doubt you broke your hip in your sleep. It would hurt much worse.'
'I did! It does hurt! Worse than any boo boo ever! So that's why I must have broke a bone.'
'Can you move it?'
'No.' (As he flops around, spinning in the bed like a rotisserie.)
'How about some snuggles and five more minutes in the bed?'
'That might help.'

Feb 17 - We couldn't make a snowman because of the ice on top, so I gave Ian a baseball bat to wail on the ground. Surprisingly fun for him and equally tiring.

Feb 24 - About 10 minutes before Ian's bedtime, I got a wild hair to stick some chocolate chip cookies in the oven. About 2 minutes later, Ian wandered into the kitchen for something. He walked out of the kitchen and declared, 'Something smells like COOKIES in there! Maybe brownies ...' 

I played dumb because I wasn't interested in delaying bedtime any more for cookies. 

We went upstairs and had stories and songs before bed. I saw that school would be closed for the snow and I told Ian I was looking forward to playing in the snow with him tomorrow.

As he rolled away from me to fall asleep he muttered, 'I'm looking forward to cookies ...'

Feb 25 - If you have a pre-schooler in your house, you must own 'The Book With No Pictures' by B.J. Novak. Santa brought it and while Ian was unimpressed when he opened it, it was a big hit tonight. The word 'butt' in 200 point font is comedy gold with the five-year-old crowd.

Feb 27 - Ian was using his blankie as a sunscreen so he could see his Star Wars game in the car. Now he just looks like a 'Madonna and iPhone' painting.

Facebook Archive - January 2015

Jan 5 - Ian says he wants to be a policeman when he grows up. His friend at school wants to be a policeman/dentist/fire fighter. 

Ian is now asking a million questions about policemen. If you have to buy your own gun at the store or if they give you one. If you have to cock the gun and how. If you get to fly a helicopter and if said copter shoots pizzas like his ninja turtle Lego set does.

Jan 17 - Ian: 'Mommy, can I have ice cream?'
Me: 'Why do you want ice cream?'
Ian: 'Because I ate almost all of my dinner ... And I feel like I deserve it.'

Jan 20 - We were changing at the pool and when I pulled up my swimsuit bottoms (that still showed my CGM sensor), Ian said, 'Mommy, you're diabetes is showing!'

Jan 21 - Ian was squeezing his stomach at the dinner table.
 'What are you doing, Dude?'
'Trying to push all the food to the back so I have room for dessert.'

Jan 21 - 'Mommy, we forgot to take off my underwear this morning so I've been wearing two pairs all day.'
'We? You got dressed by yourself this morning.'
'Yeah, but you should have helped me. Mornings are just so complicated for me.'

Facebook Archive - December 2014

Dec 2 - Ian unwrapped 'The Night Before Christmas' tonight as his advent bedtime book. He was dubious about it, concerned it was too long. I was trying to explain how it was a classic story but he doesn't understand that word, so I was telling him how everyone likes it and he might too. 

'Even Travis?!' 

I hope you like that story, dude, cause I told him it was one of your faves.

Dec 3 - Ian's bedtime advent book tonight was a Disney version of 'A Christmas Carol'. When the ghost of Jacob Marley (played by Goofy) showed up, Ian said, 'This is spooky stuff. Are you sure this is a Christmas book?'

Dec 4 - We read 'the Snow Queen' last night and this was Ian's reaction to the demon that broke the mirror [ hiding under his blanket]. That's also my general pose for anything scary so I can't blame him.

Dec 5 - 'What's a spirit?'
'A soul.'
'What's a soul?'
'It's like your feelings.'
'What's a feeling?'
'Like happy, sad, or mad.'
'Oh. ... Was God ever a teenager?'
#notforwusses

Dec 21 - Two clever things from Ian today: We were kicking the soccer ball around the front yard and he accidentally knocked it into the bushes. 'Oops. I guess we're playing hide and soccer now.'

On the way to see Santa, Ian asked if Daddy had Christmas and Easter in the army. Rich said yes and Ian asked, 'Did they load all the Easter eggs into the cannon on your tank and then shoot them out for everybody to go find?' 

No, but they totally should have ...

Dec 21 - Ian has been on a French toast kick lately. So if you're looking for a last minute Christmas gift for us, we need eggs and bread.

Dec 22 - I can't wait to tell my five year old, who still asks when he'll be able to have mama milk again, that the witch doctor just gave me chewable tablets of (cow) colostrum. #BF4life

Dec 25 - 11:30pm and the only people still awake in the house are me and the five-year-old. #nightowls

Dec 28 - Ian wanted me to paint his nails since I was doing mine. We skipped his right thumb since that's the one he sucks.