Adventure Day One

Ian and I took the weekend after summer camp to head out to Lexington for some nature and adventures. 

After our amazing lunch at Panera, we headed to Devil’s Marbleyard. It’s a 2.8 mile hike (1.4 up and 1.4 back) but is SUPER steep. We stopped to rest several times.

My blood sugar went low 1.38 miles from the truck, we forgot our water bottles, and Ian fell down badly several times on the way down, but as Jenna would say we were “making fucking memories.” I quoted her about half way up, and the other family on the trail with us started laughing.

We could have continued climbing up those super steep rocks in the Marbleyard but my blood sugar situation said “lie on this rock and don’t do shit for about 10 minutes”. Ian clamored around on them for a bit and declared himself king of the world.

He also said the lizard with the blue throat looked like he was going to lizard prom.

We’re in a cabin at the KOA campground. It has electricity, lights, AC, a front porch swing, and beds. This is so great.

I cooked hot dogs and beans for dinner. We played catch right up until dark. Ian fell in a hole twice during catch too. Poor guy. But he declared today a win.

These hurt when you fall on them.

You can keep your damn jack

Ian got upset yesterday when he accidentally was hit in the face with a soccer ball and someone laughed. Ian wanted the coach to make that kid not laugh. 

I reminded him that there is an entire genre of comedy based on people getting hit in the face. And while it may have been upsetting for Ian, another person can't help but laugh just a little. Also, laughter is a nervous response. He's done it himself when I'm monologuing at him about flushing the toilet and say the word poop with such fury. 

Daddy tells a story: A man was driving along a country road very late one night when he got a flat tire. Opening the trunk, he realized he had no tire jack! Far in the distance was a porch light.

The walk was a long one. As he trudged along, the man began to imagine waking a farmer up from his sleep and finding him unfriendly about the intrusion. Other thoughts came to him. What if the farmer had a gun? What if he sicked a big dog on him? What if the farmer robbed him when he realized he was alone?

After almost an hour of stumbling, getting caught in sticker bushes, and losing a shoe in a mudhole, he could finally see the front steps.

The man was so upset about the whole situation. He just knew the farmer was going to have a fit about a stranger at his door! It's not like the man could help this predicament. How could someone treat a fellow in need that way?!

The man knocked on the door. A light came on. The man was wracked with worry, stress, fatigue. Surely, this farmer would be furious with him. 

Footsteps. The door cracked and a voice said, ”Can I help you?”

The stranded man, red-faced and raging shouted, ”You can keep your damn jack!” and stormed away.

Bold and self-soothing all in one

Right now Ian is that stranded man. He's sensitive, in a vulnerable position, feels alone, and spends a lot of energy scripting how things can go wrong. 

My job is to help him calibrate. And to remind him that like Rich would say, "Everyone is the hero of their own story." There are 40 kids at soccer camp. Most of them are kind to him. And every single one of those kids has a life they're struggling with and navigating the best they can. Some of them don't have the emotional or supportive resources he does.

Stand your ground. Be kind. Try not to yell at farmers. 

Imperfect and awesome

Something I've noticed recently with all of my online dating: Every single person on the planet is just a little funny looking. All of us. Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson has eyes that are just a tiny bit too close together and a fantastic smile. Megan Fox has fat stubby thumbs and gorgeous cheekbones. 

Dwayne and Megan

Also, every single person has some hang-up or quirk. You don't get to the adulthood without a few dents. 

Every single human is a little bit flawed, physically and emotionally. It's like we're all expecting to look and perform like the burger in the commercial and we wake up like the burger that we get in the drive-thru. 

Burger commercial versus reality

It's interesting how people rank others based on features they had no control over other than a genetic lottery. Bald men are a thing. Short people can't magically be taller. Voices will be nasal or shrill. 

What makes you attracted to someone? Is it just dat ass? I have a distant cousin who married an "ugly woman" according to his mother. The mother was concerned she would have ugly grandbabies. My cousin's wife is the sweetest woman on the planet. After several years of marriage and some beautiful grandbabies, my cousin grinned at my mom, "She gets prettier every year I'm with her!"

I get that there is biology involved. The species wants to survive, and so our body chemicals want us to mate with wide-hipped women and broad-shouldered men. We can be a bit more cerebral than that, though. I can attest that some very handsome men around this town are downright hateful. 

Everyone being imperfect is pretty freeing. We can enjoy ourselves and each other. Soak up those picky eaters, bow-legged bad dancers, and nail-biters in your life.

I remember lamenting the stretch marks on my thighs as a teen once I "blossomed" into puberty. Until maybe the last few years I would have claimed the circles under my eyes rivaled a raccoon. Amazingly, no one else cares. People (to my knowledge) don't point me out as "that mom with the stretch marks and dark circles," because let's be real, that's every mom.

I also have adorably small ears. I have naturally wavy hair. I have those little dimples on my lower back (Rich called them cutie booty dimples). I am so flexible, I can fold up like a lawn chair. I can lift a 100 lb dog and push a Suburban.

I have a giant sign on my fridge that says: 
"YOU ARE (imperfect and) AWESOME!"

Things are rough these days for a lot of people. There are some truly awful people in this world. But most people are imperfect and awesome, just like you. Brush your teeth, clean your room, wear fresh undies, be kind to people, speak up when people are mean. The rest will sort itself out.

Scandalous sexting