looking for just a bit of wind

I've been very fretful lately and the reasons have been varied. It was abundantly clear to me that I was carrying a lot of stress, though, after spending an hour with my masseuse on Saturday while she beat my shoulders all to hell trying to work the knots free. When one finally released in my right shoulder she likened it to trying to break a horse. After visiting my parents the other day and telling them how life was getting me down, Daddy had some very clever things to say.

He said that people always tell you to not worry about things and that's crap, because there is "a kin between worry and give a damn." If you don't worry about anything then you also probably don't give a damn about much of anything. (I didn't ask if he had heard of Bobby McFerrin or what he thought of him).

But then he said that "worry is like wind." No wind is bad. And too much wind is destructive. But a bit of wind helps guide things in the right direction, gets people and things from point A to B and keeps the world moving.

I thought about that today when it was gusting close to 30 mph outside. The weather outside was a good indicator of how I've been feeling the last few weeks. And just like the weather today was a giant pain in the ass for everyone, my fretful mindset has been not so helpful for me. So I'm going to try for a more Mostly Sunny attitude and we'll see how that pans out. That and I've scheduled another massage appointment for the end of the month.

connecting the dots

I IMed on Wednesday to tell her I was in a Panera Bread in Illinois (the same Panera Bread where I'm typing this now). Since Chicago is her old college stomping ground, she had many suggestions on where to eat and hang out. She also put me in touch with her friend Kat. It was basically the equivalent of an email saying "super cool friend #1 meet super cool friend #2 and vice versa. You will love each other I'm sure." She did not disappoint me. Because of both of our hectic schedules, dinner was not an option, but Kat suggested coffee and pedicures at a local spa that stays open until 11pm (can I tell you how much I wish our spas stayed open that late?). I got directions to her house and headed there at 8pm.

Since it has already been mentioned that LauraSiobhan is an alternate universe version of me, I was curious to see what the Kat flavored version of me would be. I started texting Kat from the car telling her I might be 10 min late based off of the GPS estimates. We had a lengthy conversation over text messages before I even arrived. She told me to call her once I got to her street and she would direct me where to park.

When I called and she began directing me to her house I thought, "holy shit it's like I'm talking to Laura." Apparently she had the exact same thought upon talking to me. I came in, met her cats and son and then we headed off to get our pedicures. It was a fine evening all around. For someone I had no idea what she looked like and had never spoken to before, we hit it off instantly. It was the most comfortable and pleasant evening I've spent with a stranger.

Since Kat's current occupation is rock star and my current occupation is library geek and we live many miles from each other, I'm not sure we would have ever crossed paths or sought each other out. I have found that there are not enough definitions for all the flavors of people in my life. I have long believed that one should not be limited to one best friend. I have many friends, some dear friends, some very dear friends, and a few cosmic friends. Cosmic friends fall into the kind that are so close, they may as well be family (and the "meet me at this address with a shovel" kind of family versus the tedious Thanksgiving dinner kind of family). I'm grateful for all of them.

Kat and SamSam

some thoughts on Virginia Tech

I'm in the suburbs of Chicago the rest of this week for a conference. I wore my HOKIES sweatshirt today on my flight out and around town. I've gotten many sympathetic smiles and a few "go Hokies" from strangers all day. The hardest part is seeing talking heads on TV spewing theories in front of the drill field where we used to eat lunch. I've walked all over that campus and have so many fond memories. I feel selfish even voicing it, but it's like a safe place for me has been wrecked.

But I also have seen many friends and colleagues rally for our little cow town. The whole thing is a tragedy but it's how people behave afterwards that will shape the future for Hokies all over America. I want to have faith in my fellow man.

I shouldn't have spent all evening watching criminal dramas and American Idol from the hotel room. It shakes my faith in society.