a month in review

That snapshot of my stats only partially describes my last 30 days. Sure, you can see that huge spike when Fussy linked to me, and the numbers steadily climbed as other folks found me through the NaBloPoMo Randomizer. But I don't feel like I've taught the world to sing in the last month any more so than I would have otherwise. I just made a promise to myself to be consistent and see how I felt at the end.

What I did learn this last month is that I love to write. It may not always come easily, but I always feel better after I've sat and put some words down. What was most fascinating is those days when I least wanted to write, I did it anyways and it didn't sound like complete garbage and I didn't say anything I would later regret and I felt significantly more human after writing. Sitting my ass down at the end of the day (sometimes, like tonight at the very very very end of the day) has really helped me get perspective on what all I did and how much it matters in the grand scheme of things. I think I've been sleeping better. I'm certainly happier.

So I'm going to try to stick with this. I can't guarantee I'll have pearls to cast every evening (because sometimes I just want to go to bed), but I hope to share something of value a little more often than once a fortnight.

Tonight was another one of those nights I dreaded coming up with something to say. I'm exhausted and don't have the energy to tell you all about Shamu and the world's hugest Christmas tree and my haircut and how they all relate to each other in a wacky and cosmic way. But I did want to thank you all for bearing with me in my little experiment. I hope we can do this again soon.

Apple lies! (or how the camcorder is kicking my ass)

Things I have learned while attempting to record video.

• Tripods are your friend if you are attempting to film yourself. It's worth tearing the house apart to find it even when it's in the exact place you thought it was but invisible for the first 30 minutes of the search.
• My eyes disappear when I smile. I must be part Chinese based on my eyes alone. We'll ignore the pale skin and freckles and long inseam. You can call me Gi Ni.
• Trying to keep my eyes wide makes me look crazy, surprised and a little condescending as the top and bottom of my face no longer match and makes my entire expression seem contrived (which it is).
• Without a studio for my recording, the cats will decide to tussle in the floor beneath me, the dog will hock up something just beyond the camera's view and Rich will declare something loud and profane over some televised sporting event all while the camera is "rolling."
• No matter how simple the three sentences are I want to record, I will manage to screw it up and have to record those same three sentences 8792 times.
• I should not decide to record a video for posterity when it is 24 hours before my long overdue haircut and color, unless said video is about how badly I need a haircut and color.

I have spent two hours recording what would normally only take 10 minutes to explain. I have not even begun to edit it and turn all these duplicate clips into something coherent and entertaining. I'll do my best to share my masterpiece before the end of this week, but it may take me until Monday to put the "finishing touches" on it.

I'm definitely no Ze Frank. He certainly doesn't have squinty eyes.

food as therapy

As soon as I finished writing my previous post, I noticed I felt a little shaky. Damned if I didn't find out my sugar was 68. I felt like it was 68 on it's way to 18, though, as my world quickly started falling apart. So I wandered into the kitchen and made a bowl of ice cream. It's not the ideal for fixing my sugar because of the fat to sugar ratio, but dammit I felt bad and I wanted chocolate ice cream! The bowl of ice cream was tasty, but I still felt shaky. Ooh, grape juice! I found grape juice in the fridge and used that to wash down the last of the Cheetos. By the time I finished those, I wasn't shaky anymore but had a bit of an ... off ... taste in my mouth. So to "wash out" the sweetness on my tongue, I opted for a slice of American cheese (because I was too tired to find a knife to cut a piece of cheddar).

I'm now totally grossed out by the last 15 minutes of my calorie intake and need to backwards calculate just what the hell I ate and how many carbs it had. But first I told the Puddin' he needs to take me to bed before I find anything else more gross to eat in the kitchen.