She. Could. Go. All. The. Way. (your advice requested)

I've never been much on going to church or organized religion, as a rule. I can remember as a kid asking my mother what religion we were because I had been filling out Scantron bubble forms at school. My mother sighed the weary sigh of a parent given a difficult question out of the blue and said that her family was Methodist and Daddy's family was Presbyterian but that the only church I had been to was a Methodist one. I wondered briefly if this made me a religious "mix breed" and if I would have to one day pick one. But so far I've been getting by in the "other" category. Since we don't go to church, I've decided to learn more about football instead. Football is one of the major unifying forces in our society, allowing two strangers in an airport terminal to chat about The Game last week. Since I'd rather poke myself in the eye than talk politics with anyone and I've never been so great at waxing poetic on fashion, I figure football watching will be a nice addition to my hobbies.

We already watch a fair amount of football in the house, as Rich is an avid-but-not-rabid sports fan. I'm guaranteed to be blasted with AM radio sports commentators set to volume 11 anytime I get in his truck. I don't mind Mike & Mike in the morning so much, and John Madden is always good for a laugh, but Tony Mercurio makes me want to punch the dashboard.

Lately, there have been commercials for HerFootball.com on TV. I was intrigued at what made that football website more friendly to women, except for all the pink, but was quickly disappointed with it's poor layout and heavy focus on getting me to join their fantasy league. So instead, I did some perusing on plain old Football.com and found some handy rules on NFL.com. Soon I'll be leaping from the sofa yelling "PICKED OFF!" like the Holy Ghost itself has ahold of me.

My only connundrum now is whom to choose as my team. The Miami Dolphins are right out because, come on, they're freakin' dolphins with helmets on their heads with a teal background. I can't own any of that merchandise. I can't pick the Detroit Lions because I'd like to see my team win one or two games and I won't be a Raiders fan because I'm just not that crazy and don't need to join a cult, just nurture a little sports hobby.

So here's where I need your help. Tell me who I should pick as my favorite team and why. The rationale for your decision can be based on anything from colors and ferocity of mascot to the effectiveness of their special team and your allegiance to them based on family history. Here's a list of all the NFL teams, in case you need a refresher.

The High Price of Nostalgia

We went to an event today and I was very underwhelmed. This evening, I'm wishing we had just stayed home or better yet told them to cancel the event all together and save us all the trouble. The event was $13 per person for day-trippers (with no lunch included and no public bathrooms other than port-a-johns). We also spent $4 in tolls (and an hour and a half each way) getting to Grandy, North Carolina and back for this "local" event. Add to that the $20 we spent on lunch from the modern food vendor, $70 for the last minute truck rental to carry our pavilion and $30 in gas, and we've spent over $150 in the last 12 hours today. I knew when we pulled up to site and it said "Renaissance Festival" on the giant lit up sign out front, we should have just turned around then and gone home. Normally, I would try to be diplomatic about these sorts of things and support those in need of guidance and a clue, but it was just poor all around. There were vendors selling lawn gnomes and dog bone tree ornaments, for fuck's sake. Ok, so the ornaments were really cute and I almost bought one, but really ... I was worried this morning about my 15th century shoes with my 13th century dress and this is what I got? This is not my version of medieval reenactment and it's not really the SCA.

The good news is that , and Thyre were there to help me sit under my big ass pavilion and chitty-chat, which really helped keep me perky. Honestly, had they not been there, I would have sat in the truck and surfed the internet while Rich finished marshalling so we could go home (did I mention there were only three combatants on site?). Instead, I finished most of a hand-sewn hood and relaxed. And it wasn't that cold outside once the sun came back out, so it could have been far worse.

BUT! My best use of money all day by far was the candy I bought in the local store on site. They had all the stuff that I had when I was a little kid but they can't sell anymore because it makes us all want to smoke cigarettes while we eat Draino. So I spent $20 on candy that will probably taste much more gross than I remember but pleases me with all its old-fashionedness and nostalgia. I must admit that as an adult, seeing all those packs of "candy sticks" does make me hanker for a cigarette.

QWERTY Warriors!!!

The Shifted Librarian pointed out a fantastic game called Word Shoot. Holy crap it's so fun! I warn you that it makes noise for those of you still at the office. But it certainly does beat the pants off of Mavis Beacon.

I found that when under pressure, trying to type fog comes out gof EVERY TIME. And I can't tell you how many times I typed pissy instead of piggy once the tanks started coming after me. As Hudson would say, They're coming out of the goddamn walls!