area woman embarrassed by fellow Communications majors on television

When I rearranged my RSS feeds into various folders, I should have probably put the Onion entries in something other than the "News" folder. It's far too easy to confuse CNN's duct tape no magic cure for warts, study finds with the Onion's DNA evidence frees man after 15 years of marriage article. I'm in a hotel room tonight, watching the Weather Channel tonight because it's the only thing on TV that doesn't make me angry at America. If democracy doesn't exhaust me, the Lifetime channel may do me in completely. Football ... football may be the only thing that saves me.

If I Had a Hammer ....

Remember that list from Friday? The list that had three things on it, one of which was a mallet? Turns out we don't own a mallet (or if we do, it's disappeared). And really there's no substitute for a 3 lb. sledge when trying to drive tent stakes. We made do with the hammer we had, but I felt more like a woodpecker than John Henry. This morning, I sent an email to my parents with various updates. My parents and I talk regularly, but sometimes it's easier to capsulize it all in an email rather than get on the phone. I can't wait until they one day have the ability to get text messages. So anyways, I ask Daddy if he has any extra sledges lying around. Recently when I've gone to the store and bought something (power inverter, fancy extension cord, etc.) I find out that Daddy had already bought a dozen of them on sale six months ago waiting for someone in our family to need them. So I wanted to avoid buying a superfluous sledge if we already had tons of them or if Daddy knew of some secret sledge sale that I didn't.

Dad called a little after noon asking if we had left for our outings yet. He was concerned that I needed a sledge today and he was on the case collecting various ones that may or may not be appropriate. I explained that I only needed a sledge in the grand scheme of things for the next time we decide to setup our pavilion and that wouldn't be happening for at least a week if not longer.

So when I went by this evening to drop off some extra food from the weekend, Daddy came in with a 10 gallon bucket full of sledges singing "If I Had a Hammer" and grinning. He had collected a variety of sledges of different weights with different lengths of handle and different shaped heads. I picked out one that I liked and now just have to spray paint it hot pink to keep it from wandering off at the next event we go to. It's really quite handsome and I'm super pleased with it. And you can't beat the price or that it was hand-picked with love. They don't sell hammers like that at Home Depot.