Holding on for the ride

It took me 30 minutes to drop Ian off at school yesterday morning. More specifically, it took me 30 minutes to put him into his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume and peel him off of me so I could exit while he screamed "MOMMMMMYYYYYYY!" through sobs. When Rich asked how it went, my only explanation was it was a fucking disaster. Through a mixup at school, they told us to bring his costume versus arrive with it on him. As I tried to get his costume on him when we got there, Ian realized as soon as I got the costume on him, I was leaving. So it was back and forth for forever all amongst these tearful protests of "let's just go home, Mommy. I wanna go home with you Mommy and snuggle. I don't wanna go to school."

Meanwhile every little girl in the class - Jasmine and a black kitty and Belle and Little Red Riding Hood - all stood around us and asked with concern, "why don't you want to be a ninja turtle, Ian?" (Fascinatingly, Spiderman and Captain America and the Washington Redskin were not worried at all. Sometimes boys are dense.) So the kitty and I did our best to come up with ways to get Ian into his costume.

"Maybe we can ask the teacher, Ian's mommy?" "Maybe he will put on his shell." "Ian, we can't get candy if you don't put your costume on. I have my costume on."

It was equally frustrating and adorable.

I cried at work and lamented how my kid can be so stressed out and I can't seem to keep him from fretting any more than I can keep Rich from fretting. Part of Ian's anxiety about school drop off is just typical three year old stuff. But I think part of it is him picking up on the general angst level in the house. He doesn't want to let either of us out of his sight, particularly me. Rich is in a heightened state of distress these days so he's not able to handle the sobs of "don't go!" very well. So we're on this emotional roller coaster and I'm trying to cover people's eyes and sing happy songs to keep them from worrying about the big drop coming up ahead. But it's more like the log flume ride where we can all climb in together but I'm trying to calculate who should sit where so no one gets scared and no one gets soaked.

I waited breathlessly for Ian and Rich to come home so we could see how his day went and if we could enjoy some trick or treating. Ian bounced in the house, rambling about how great trick or treating was and how he loved his costume. He agreed to sit and eat dinner with us and complimented my corn bread as he crumbled it into his chili. As the first trick or treaters arrived at our door, he rushed up to see their costumes and process the routine.

And then we went out on the town. He was awesome. He raced up to doors and yelled "Happy Halloween!" at little old ladies who cooed over him. As we walked away from front porches he would call back "Bye bye! We'll see you later! Thanks for all the candy!" Before the end of our street, he had figured out the routine and was directing which house we should try next.

We made it home once Ian declared he was tired (a statement virtually unheard of in the three year old world) and his bucket of candy was too heavy. We picked out a few treats to eat while he watched an episode of WonderPets and then he voluntarily went upstairs. His only request was to sleep in his costume (including the shell) which we happily obliged. I don't think it's still considered SIDS anymore if your three year old strangles himself on his ninja turtle sash, but we managed to avoid any injury.

He was asleep within two minutes of his head hitting the pillow. It made me wish we could do Halloween every night!

In one short day I experienced some of the best and worst things about parenting a three year old. My heart goes out to him when he's upset and believe me, I'd love to spend all day snuggling versus going to work while he is at school, but that's not practical. Thankfully, my heart can fill up on all the joy he had last night seeing other kids in costume and chatting with neighbors and hauling a giant plastic pumpkin of loot home. And hopefully soon, we can move on to a different ride for a little while.

Staying on schedule

"But I wanna go to the store with you to fix Daddy's belly!" Today, I started trying to explain to Ian all the things that will be going on in the next few weeks. This is hard for a three year old. Honestly, it's hard for a 42 year old too. A common joke between Rich and me is telling him, "you lost a weekend, baby" as we plan out our trips.

Anything that happened in the past happened yesterday as far as Ian is concerned. And anything in the future happens on Tuesday. Trying to get him to understand that Halloween is this week and so is Mommy's airplane trip but our friends aren't coming to visit until the next week has his head reeling a bit. I'm also trying to get Ian familiar with the tentative schedule for what we'll be doing all day. Ian will spend the day with Nana and Granddad while Mommy helps Daddy with his belly.

"Mommy's going on a plane ride later this week." "And I'm staying home alone?!" "No, Daddy will still be here. And Mommy will only be gone for one night and then we have all weekend to play." "Like today?" "Well, sorta like today, only with less wind and rain hopefully."

"I don't want to go to Baltimore with Nana and Granddad." "Because you want to be with Mommy and Daddy?" "Uh huh. I don't want you to go without me." "This time we're all going together. Mommy will need to help Daddy some during the day, but that's when you can play with Nana and Granddad. And we'll always have bedtime together every night." "Daddy too?" "Well, Daddy will have to stay in the hospital for a bit while his belly gets better but we can talk to him on the phone and the iPad. And then we'll all go home together."

Big wheels keep on turnin

I'm not sure how it started, but this afternoon I started thinking about getting a new bike. I've been pondering it because my current bike is a super cheap Target number and it's not that comfy. It's also the bike that has Ian's seat on the front and it's getting crowded for both me and him on it. Since we had no plans this evening, we all decided to head over to Conte's bike shop to look around. When I walked in and saw the price tags on the bikes, I almost walked right back out. When the bikes in there cost TEN TIMES what my cheap Target bike costs, it's hard to handle. Meanwhile, Ian had found the kids bikes. There was a little bike with training wheels but they were too low so the back wheel just spun. The nice sales lady took it back to the service department and they fixed it for him to try out. And while I browsed bikes that were so expensive it made my stomach hurt, my son rode this little bike all over the store.

The sales lady picked out a nice hybrid for me to try. I told her the price tag scared me but she said that I was in for a treat when I rode it. She said, "go ahead and take it around the parking lot." And Rich said, "I've just spent ten minutes telling our son we can't take the bikes out of the store!" She said we could both take them out and we rode all over the lot. We were both impressed. Even Rich was pleased with it.

When we got back in I told Rich I felt like the bike was too expensive but he convinced me to get it. So I bought it really quickly before I could change my mind. Oh, and since our son had mastered his two wheeler (with training wheels) we felt like we had to get his bike too, particularly if Mommy was getting a bike. Thankfully, they have a nice trade-in program for when he outgrows this bike. So an hour later, we were heading home with two new bikes in the back.

We stopped at my parents to show them our new wheels. It's always a gamble to show anything like this to my father because it's a 50/50 chance that he'll love or hate it. He's a man of strong opinions. He was immediately impressed with how smoothly it rode. He was also impressed with the lightness and the brake design. He said, "this is all you'd ever need in a bike" and "there's no substitute for quality!" which I took as compliments. Then he said, "I hate to ask how much it was. Perry's bike was so expensive this has to be at least a $1000 bike." When I told him it was $400 he said, "only $400? Wow!"

Now, remember, this is the price tag that made me queasy. My husband had to nearly force me over to the cashier to buy this bike because I was so overwhelmed by the price. And here was my father, the man who rides bikes he Frankensteins off the trash, telling me that he thought $400 was a great price for my bike. I had to hold onto the handlebars to steady myself from the shock.

Meanwhile, Ian was still riding his bike in circles all over the road and driveway. I convinced him to head home, telling him we could go "the long way" around the block so he could ride his bike longer. I now know this was a mistake. Thankfully, my mother had the wisdom to send Pop after us on his roadside trash bike to see if we needed help. And wow, did we need help.

Ian stopped twice to "fix" his bike, turning it completely over on the sidewalk and inspecting the tires. He then stopped to inspect the lines on the sidewalk. And he stopped to pick me some flowers (weeds). And he stopped to push his bike and look at my bike. I didn't think we would ever get home! I tried to convince him to let Pop carry his bike while I carried him home. He pondered my offer but didn't want to let go of his bike. He wanted me to carry him and it both!

Eventually, I convinced him to get in my arms and he instantly slumped onto my shoulder and started sucking his thumb. He continued to keep an eagle eye on Pop, though, to make sure he didn't lose sight of his bike. He said, "It's dark, Mommy. Don't let the ghosts get my bike." I assured him that Pop would keep it safe. I managed to carry my 38 pound son home on my brand new bike without wrecking it and we headed upstairs to bed. As soon as Rich started reading books, I sneaked off to try another ride.

I took my new bike all over the neighborhood (four miles according to Google) and loved it. Ian has already requested we all ride bikes again tomorrow. We may have found an activity to mix in with all the hockey around here.