No bad news is still good news

Since Monday the 12th, Rich has been having bad cramps off and on. They feel a bit like binding gas but will eventually "pop" and give him relief. It's been cyclical where he feels best in the morning and then worse over the course of the day until he needs prescription pain meds to sleep. Needless to say, this has worried him which has then worried me. This week, he flew to Nashville for his CT scan, blood work, check up with Dr. Bendell, and drug infusion. He arrived for his CT scan yesterday morning and a large amount of the contrast he drank came out of his fistula. The fistula that has been closed since Christmas. So that was alarming.

They had someone look at his CT scan at the imaging unit to make sure he wasn't leaking all over and needed to go to the hospital. They said he was "fine" and sent him to see Dr. Bendell. He called me and was very disappointed at the output, but I convinced him to get a smoothie all the same so he stayed hydrated and had some nutrition.

Dr. Bendell broke it down like this: His bowels are irritated, most likely from the reintroduction of food after seven months. This causes them to swell and kink, leading to cramps, binding gas, and general discomfort. He's still processing food fine, though, so no need to revert to TPN. He should just be aware of what he eats. The tumors have not grown noticeably, so they are not what's causing his stomach cramping. He doesn't have a blockage other than the swollen bowels causing some restrictions. He has some lesions on his liver that have grown a bit but that's normal with the immunotherapy he's getting.

Dr. Bendell is not worried about anything she saw.

Rich feels like this is a regression, mostly because the fistula is leaking. But it's not leaking very much so he just needs a piece of gauze versus an ostomy bag. And he's still allowed to eat. He just wanted to hear that the tumor has gotten smaller. He wanted some good news, not just a lack of horrible news.

Yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions for him as well as tiring travel. He's taking it easy today, but we will rally from there.

This is your turn

Rich has good days and bad days. Everyone does. Sometimes, though, it’s not so simple to figure out how he’s doing overall. Monday night after dinner Rich’s stomach started cramping and bothering him. He went to work on Tuesday, but by 5pm he was in rough shape. I drove him to pick up Ian and then home where he skipped dinner, spending the evening on the couch.

By this morning, he was feeling better. He ate breakfast and that went well. We decided to try a late lunch at Panera. When we walked out to the car, I asked him if he wanted to drive and he said it didn’t matter.

He then proceeded to question every turn I took, including which parking space I picked. It’s not that I’m a bad driver. It’s just that Rich is a horrible passenger. It’s part of why he hates flying is they won’t let him drive. When we left Panera, I drove again and the first thing he said was, “Why are you going this way?” Dude. It’s a parking lot. There’s only but so many ways to exit.

This summer we went through months where I could barely get Rich to leave the house, let alone drive. He was not up to driving or even having an opinion about the drive. He would just lean the seat back and stare wistfully out the window, resigned to his destination and the route there.

It’s so nice to know he’s feeling well enough to question my driving, I’m not even mad.

Freedom!

You know when you put a costume or a leash on a cat? How it just gets real low?

That was Rich wearing an ostomy bag. He would wear it, but he would not be happy about it and it was the human equivalent of putting little mittens on his paws. He moved slower and much more grumpily.

On December 30th, we took off his ostomy bag and left it off. And with it we also removed a significant dark cloud that had been hanging over him. He's had a lightness in his step that I have long missed.

We also have discontinued his TPN. I conferred with the surgeon and he said as long as Rich is eating at least 75% of his caloric intake, we could skip the intravenous nutrition. Considering he's had the same meals I have since New Year's Eve, we're doing great. If anybody needs to fertilize their roses, I've got 30 liters of TPN which is basically prescription Miracle Gro.

His lower wound is still open and oozing a bit, so we continue to bandage that and his fistula opening for the dime-sized speck he produces daily. We've come a long way, baby.

Sunday was hard for us both after hearing of Stuart Scott's passing. Scott had the same cancer Rich does, was diagnosed in 2007 at age 42 just like Rich and after many surgeries and drugs died at age 49.

His ESPYS speech from last July made me cry. He was a great sportscaster, a clever guy and a devoted father.

But Scott didn't have the Chancellor of Optimism. He didn't have the angels in Nashville with their fashion sense and cutting edge tech. And he didn't have Team Stryker.

I'm happy for Rich and our family. We've had a hell of a year, but things are looking up. We're in good hands at Sarah Cannon. Flights are only $250 each now. Rich was saying he's looking forward to eating airport food that he's not been able to have in a long time (just let that statement sink in). Our little home is lovely and stable right now.

Booyah.