Living Out Loud volume 16: The people in your neighborhood

It's been a rough couple of weeks in our neighborhood. Two of my parents' neighborhood friends have died, one after she got pneumonia that required a feeding tube that nicked an artery and another of brain cancer. Sad times all around as my parents' peers are dropping like proverbial flies. I have some great stories about both of these beloved neighbors but those will have to be blog posts of their own. For now, I wanted to ponder the significance of them being our neighbors. My mother always used to say that people who have good neighbors don't appreciate them. My parents had one atrocious neighbor who did everything from paint a keep off sign on the fence between them to hire men to climb on my mother's roof and cut down one of our trees because she didn't like it. She was, as they say, a piece of work.

We lived at our old house a mile from here for years and rarely talked to any of our neighbors. And now that we're in our new house I'd love to have a more close relationship with them, but am not really sure how to go about that. I hear about other people who have block parties and neighborhood cookouts and I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Then again, our elderly dog Sarah fell in one of the footers for our deck this morning while I was in the shower and Rich was out walking our other dog and our neighbor jumped the fence to rescue her. So we're not doing so bad.

So I'm finally getting around to announcing our Living Out Loud project. I know it's the end of the month, but we've had a lot going on. I promise to be more organized going forward.

Tell us about your neighborhood, past, present or future. Do you like where you live now? Did you love your neighborhood as a kid? Can you even tell us the names of your neighbors or do you only know their dogs' and kids' names because that's what gets yelled out the back door? What is your ideal neighborhood, as far as communication with your neighbors, proximity to them and privacy? Do you have fences of both physical and non-physical variety that keep you from getting to know them? Do you even want to know them? How important is a neighborhood versus your actual dwelling itself?

Details include:

  • Write something personal about yourself using the previous paragraphs as a guideline. Do not feel that you have to address each issue above. The spirit of this project is to share something about yourself; I'm just throwing out ideas.
  • Once you have completed your entry and posted it, please email me the link at genie [at] inabottle [dot] org. Remember, if you don't email me, I'm likely to forget to include you in the recap!
  • If you do not have a blog to host your story, you can email me the story directly and I will add it here as a guest post giving you credit. The more the merrier!
  • The due date for entries is Sunday, May 9th (the second Sunday of the month) at 5pm Eastern. Note this is Mother's Day, so plan accordingly.
  • Once I have collected all the entries, I will post a wrap-up to list them all and announce a winner. The winner will receive some sort of prize to be determined but all participants will receive fame and glory and a link on our Living Out Loud blogroll.

Recap of Living Out Loud volume 15: Prêt-à-porter

Ok, so I know that I say every month how I'm so pleased with the participants and everyone did great. I'm like that coach at the end of swim camp handing out trophies to everyone. But, no, really, this month was FANTASTIC for entries. Every single one was really great. They were all different and conveyed a wide variety of sentiments. I'm really impressed with everyone. Group hug!

Check them out!

Hrothny's Living Out Loud This totally rocks and completely counts for clothing. Never chopped liver, my dear, just the victim of my horrible organization, I neglected to include this entry at first. But it is a hallmark to me of your family's love.

Christina's Pret-a-porter This entry gave me goosebumps. I'm going to create some sort of gala for her to wear this dress to.

Rachel's (Tales of my Thirties) Worn I have a jean jacket in my closet that doesn't really fit me but my boyfriend bought me and I may never get rid of it. I wanted one so badly and his gift meant a lot.

Kathy's When In Doubt ... Throw It Out For such a regrettable shirt, I don't think I could get rid of it either. It was meant to be!

Jen's The ones that got away As someone who bought about 15 pairs of red shoes from Zappos looking for The Perfect Pair for our wedding, I can attest that finding good shoes, just like a good mate is hard.

Peg's Plain Brown "Wrapper" I've seen pictures of folks in those kinds of pants and I think it's definitely something to be proud of.

Kim's Esprit de Corps There is a part of Kim I will always think of in these clothes. But there are so many outfits now that fit my image of Kim that it's neat to hear about these.

Ruth's The Shirt Stays I was never a Grateful Dead kind of person, but I completely understand belonging to a tribe and something larger that just myself. I think it's what everyone wishes for.

Amy's What I would wear in a dream I can attest that making ones own clothing is really powerful. And my love of costuming through the SCA has been a great outlet for things I'd have no reason to wear in the 21st century.

SuziCate's Falling In Love With A Dress You need to take up quilting because there is a cornucopia of materials there! And I don't know that anyone else will ever wear my wedding dress, but I couldn't bear to part with it.

Megan's I offer you my hand in marriage and a pair of boots I admit I got all misty-eyed reading this. The acorn at the bottom really got to me, forsooth.

Karal's Laissez les bons temps rouler! I am amazed that someone offered you $50 for this, but good on your for keeping it. And I have an entire dresser drawer of shirts I never wear but can't part with!

And my own Remnants of love that didn't last

So after all those superb entries, picking just one to be our winner has been really hard. After much deliberation, I chose Christina as our winner this month. Her entry stuck with me for days after reading it and I figure that's the testament to a really great piece of writing. She'll receive a $20 Amazon gift card (as will several others as I'm way behind in my award follow-through) as her prize.

Sometime I think these recaps are a lot of work. But mostly, and in particular today, I'm just pleased I got so many folks to play along and produce such fine writing. It's a joy to read them all. Thank you all! And stay tuned for the next theme ...

Remnants of love that didn't last

I was discussing jewelry with my mother once and she said she might still have her old wedding ring from Lee. I asked her if it was fancy in any way and she said it was just a plain gold band but had an inscription in it. "What did it say?" "Oh, it said something like 'love everlasting' or some crap like that." I'm sure many years from now I'll find that ring in all of Mom's stuff and I'll probably keep it too. I still have one of the wedding rings from my first marriage. I won't say it's a ring from Jeremy because it's actually one his mother gave me. My engagement ring and wedding band were Jeremy's grandmother's and I remember taking them out of his cabinet many a time to ponder them while we were dating. He would eventually give me those rings and I wore them every day we were married.

This plain gold band, though, was Mary's. She had received it from Jeremy's father Carl as her wedding band, thin with a slight milgrain to compliment her solitaire. I was sitting on her bed and she was going through her jewelry box. She offered it to me somewhat apologetically. Jeremy's parents divorced when he was still an infant and I think Mary thought the ring might be a bit of bad luck. But I happily took it. I told myself that wearing it with the other bands was a symbol that even a bad relationship can produce a good person.

I handed over his grandmother's rings to Jeremy the day I left him, but I asked to keep the one from Mary and Carl. It was another reminder for me that bad relationships still have good people in them. The ring is handsome, simple and inexpensive. I don't ever wear it anymore and I can't imagine I would. I don't think I'd give it to anyone else. It's been through two marriages that didn't work out, so I think it's time to retire it. But some part of me just can't get rid of it. It's as if getting rid of the ring would throw away anything of worth from the marriages. So I keep it. I take it out and look at it on rare occasions, but mostly it just rests in my jewelry box.

I suppose even after two failed marriages, it's still doing its job as a symbol, though. It may not say love everlasting "or some crap like that," but it speaks of good intentions, honest mistakes and potential in a simple package. That makes it worth keeping as far as I'm concerned.

my old wedding band