DLand - I Scream, You Scream

I got a chocolate ice cream cone on the boardwalk Saturday night. It was less of a treat and more of a confectionary grenade. It was coated in both chocolate and multi-colored sprinkles which began to fall away from the ice cream as I walked and scattered like sugary shrapnel in the wind.By the time I had walked a few blocks my entire right hand and most of my right leg were dripping in chocolate. It was like a fudge-filled Stephen King movie. I looked like I had pulled the chocolate heart out of the Easter bunny and was devouring his soul while he looked on in horror. The only option in the end was to cut my losses and remove the majority of the ice cream and then deep throat the cone to remove any evidence of this crazy idea of eating ice cream after dark. After all that sugar and adventure, I could have sprinted the length of the boardwalk in a minute. Of course, by the time I got home, I was a sugar zombie girl. Yes, there was ice cream in my eyebrow and between my toes.

DLand - Violence, Naked Force

“Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and their freedoms.” - Robert A. HeinleinI saw this quote on the back of a guy's t-shirt in the DMV today. It was written over the United States Marine Corp symbol and the shirt was a brilliant blood red. It was strange because I knew the guy. He was in my Calculus class in high school. And here he was ten years later, obvious having joined the Marines and waiting to register his sports car at the local DMV. I studied him for a good 15 minutes. I read his shirt over and over again. I stared at his face, desperately trying to remember his name. Chris? David? Brian? Skip? Something about his shirt infuriated me. It could have been that I was already spitting mad from the previous encounters at the DMV. But I was just really upset about this quote. Violence and naked force. What if I took those words to heart? Would I get better service at the DMV if I forced myself on them? I had just resisted getting in a fist fight in this godforsaken place (thinking it unwise to start throwing punches ten feet from the sheriff on duty). And then I sit down behind my nameless classmate (what the hell is his name?!) and his shirt tells me I am wishful thinking at its worst. Maybe Heinlein was only implying to be prepared. To not rule out the need for naked force in the face of opposition. I suppose I could handle that reasoning a little better. I have found much better results in my life by avoiding simple violence. So I don't think I'll start any time soon.

DLand - Steel on Flesh

Jay the Piercer: “Hey, how can I help you?”Me: “Yeah, I think I want to ... well, I know I want a new ear piercing. I want to pierce this thing.” (pointing to that little thing at the front of my ear) Jay: “Ah, your targus?” Me: “My what?” Jay: “Your targus.” Me: “Yeah, that thing.” We chatted and made small talk. I told him about work. It only took a few seconds. Jay: “Ok, take a deep breath and hold it. It will all be over by the time I count to three.” Me: “Um, ok.” About 5 seconds or so of slight discomfort mixed with glee pass. After he's done twisting my ear all to hell, he blurts out “123!”. Uh huh. You so funny. But I was very brave. It didn't hurt at all and it's healing nicely. I'm building a relationship with him and we might work up to more exciting piercings one day. But for now, I'm pleased with the glint of steel on flesh around my face.