After shocks
I slept from 9pm Saturday night until 7am Sunday morning when Ian begged me to go downstairs with him so it wouldn't be so spooky. When he went out to see Power Rangers with friends, I took a nap from 2-4pm. It's a little after 9pm now and I'm back in bed.
It's crazy how much I sleep. I have a pillow and blanket in my Suburban so I can sleep in the back of it at lunch. I haven't slept this much since my first trimester of pregnancy with Ian.
I've gained about 10 pounds in what seems like overnight. I was doing a keto diet (< 20g carbs/day) starting January 9 and lost two pounds in two months. I stopped doing keto so strictly and gained 10 pounds. Even on the keto diet, my blood sugars were high all through hospice and death and are only now starting to come down. But that's with a 50% increase in my insulin dosage still.
My endocrinologist reported my thyroid was low in January and upped my Synthroid dosage. I won't know if that's better until May's appointment.
I know everyone will say this is normal. It doesn't mean I have to like it. I was hopeful I would feel like myself again soon. I'm having to learn patience with myself.
I also should probably hang up the heavy bag in the garage because I still have a lot of anger and feels to work out. I need another piece of furniture to smash, maybe bust up a chiffarobe.