Oh my God, I'm so tired. And not that "new mother up all night" kind of tired. Ian and I slept from 10:30pm last night until a little after 7am this morning. This is more the tired that comes from packing six diapers in individual Ziploc bags along with four bottles of breast milk that each have 3 ounces in them and are labeled with Ian's name and a change of clothes and crib sheet and blanket and my breast pump and my breakfast and cell phone and blood sugar meter. I carry four bags to the car plus Ian's car seat every morning. I've got to find a better system.

Then we come home with the milk I've pumped during the day and the milk leftover that he didn't drink and dirty bottles and dirty milk containers and dirty diapers (each in its own Ziploc bag) and dirty clothes. All I want to do is sit in the recliner and snuggle my boy.

The irony is that it was easier for me to just take Ian to work with me. I'm sure that wouldn't have lasted once he became mobile and didn't sleep as much, but right now it seems counter-intuitive.

I wrote my first check for $200 to the day care yesterday. At $40 a day, Ian better get a job to earn his keep.

All in all, we did okay. I only teared up a little when I left him and had to dash out before I started crying. I came back at noon to feed and snuggle him and was back a little after 5pm to pick him up. He did fine. I did fine. It's just not ideal.

It helps that his day care is across the street. I could walk over there if I had to so traffic is never an issue. His "teachers" are very nice and all the other babies seem happy. It's just a lot to get used to.

Of course I'm the one having to get used to everything and Ian is just taking it all in stride. Every time I've left him he's been smiling and cooing. Even yesterday after I nursed him, he was on my chest and cooing. I realized he was looking at another little girl in her exersaucer and talking to her. Already he's making new friends.

I still miss those days when it was just him and me and the Ellen Degeneres show each morning.