March 2 - Ian and his friend are building one of his play sets in the other room.
Ian: "I'm doing way more hard stuff than you."
Friend: "Bruh. Fire me then."

March 8 - Ian was doing his homework last night. I asked him what the point was of coloring in thermometers? He just looked up from his paper, rolled his eyes, and said, “This is why I go to 4th grade for math.”

March 10 - This morning at breakfast Ian and I have covered envy vs jealousy, ambidextrousness, why Shrop and I get along now, and which hand goes forward in a boxing stance (I am saving that last one for Shrop).

March 10 - Mr. Mister’s “Kyrie” came on the stereo in the car. I was trying to explain to Ian about the term Kyrie Eleison.

Ian: “So is this Christian rock?”
Me: “No. It’s just a rock song. Kyrie Eleison means ‘Lord, have mercy’ in Greek.”
Ian: “So it’s Greek Christian rock?”
Me: “Sweet baby Jesus, you are killing me, kid.”

Fun fact: When this song came out in 1985, a 15yo Southern Baptist Rich Stryker had no idea what Kyrie Eleison meant, so he thought they were saying, “Carry a laser down the road that I must travel.” I kinda like his version better.

March 16 - Ian: “Oh, man, I better wear green tomorrow. I don’t wanna get punched!”

March 19 - “The usual problems” = he has a cold. But it makes my 9yo sound like a Russian novelist over text.