July 4 - 'Hey, Mommy, my bath water is black! How did you do that?'

We've resorted to Lava pumice soap to get the grime off of Ian. He's wrecked so many times it's hard to tell the bike chain grease from the bruises.

July 14 - Questions from the five-year-old tonight:
Why did Mommy divorce Jeremy?
Why does chili make you fart?
What's a 'drunk in a midnight choir'?
#notforwusses

July 18 - Ian just said 'for sample' instead of 'for example' and 'WALLA!' instead of 'voila'. He has a certain flair when explaining the intricacies of Minecraft. 

Also it takes all my will power not to snicker when he keeps making excited statements about his wood.

July 20 - Ian: 'Mommy can I have a hug? I promise I won't fondle your boobs.'
Me: 'Sure, you can have a hug. I appreciate you leaving my boobs alone.'
Ian: 'It's just that since you don't let me have mama milk any more I want to touch your boobs.'
Me: 'Yeah, but I'd kinda rather you didn't touch them all the time.'
Ian: 'Why? You used to let me put my mouth on them all the time and that was definitely touching them.'
#notforwusses #extendednursing #tinylawyer

July 26 - Discussing the definitions of 'products' and 'produce' with Ian as we head to the store (that sells both).