May 1 - The latest 'Stories From Your Mouth' series I'm working through involves James the shark who works at the aquarium. Tonight they went on a field trip and he had seaweed for lunch (I didn't want to get into the 'fish are friends not food' issue.)
Ian: 'If I were a shark, instead of seaweed I think I would prefer seaweed salad.'

May 9 - I asked Ian to pose on his two-wheeler with no training wheels and got this triumphant move. Apparently my dad (George Powell) taught Ian to ride while we weren't paying attention. #wolfpack

May 14 - Rich: 'I kinda want you to see Mad Max with me. It's gotten great reviews.'
Me: 'Enh.'
Rich: 'It's being lauded as a feminist victory.'
Ian: 'What does that mean, Daddy?'
Rich: 'It means chicks like it.'

May 14 - Me: 'No. You don't need to use your elbow to try to sneakily rub my boob. That's not snuggling. That's harassment. This couch is a hostile environment.'
Ian: 'Awwww.'

May 27 - 'Hey, Mommy? What if Nana just tricked us into thinking she died so she could marry somebody else?'
#notforwusses