Oct 4 - I'm going to invent a child-sized hamster ball to stick my kid in so that he can get his yayas out regardless of the weather. If I have to say 'control your body' one more time, I may just wheel him around on a dolly like Hannibal Lecter.

Oct 10 -'Yay! My very first protein bar!'
#kidsareweird

Oct 10 - My five year old is too big for cartoon briefs any more. ﷯ I'm more upset about this than I thought I would be. #hesjustaboy #agiganticboy

Oct 17 - Today the five year old and I have been covering the difference between sentry/century and cereal/serial. English, man. Not for wusses.

Oct 29 - Ian (as I sit down next to him on the sofa): 'What about my grilled cheese I asked for?'
Me: 'It's cooking on the stove.'
Ian: 'Do you really think you should just leave it like that? That doesn't seem safe.'

My son, the fire marshal.